Every day I will be proud of my creative choices

Thursday, November 27, 2014

Portrait Society of America Conference Insider Article

Here is the article I wrote for the Portrait Society of America for their 2013 conference.  I was looking through my computer and came across this, so I thought I would post it.

  In presenting my chapter for the Conference Insider I wanted to show a few of my recent drawings. I am so happy that the Portrait Society has included drawings into the competition since I believe this will go a long way in showing artists and collectors that it all starts with—and sometimes ends with—drawing. I want the world to see drawings as great examples of fine art on par with an oil painting, watercolor, or sculpture. 
I am so moved by the simple gesture of a line or the soft edge of a scratchy texture on paper—rendering some parts to extreme finish and leaving empty or abstract spaces to challenge the viewer's imagination with that which has been suggested but unstated. 
Most of my drawings take me a long time even if they don't look it. I put in and take out over and over and over again. I wonder if I will ever learn to get it right on the first take! But I know that this is my process and am resolved to it, frustrating as it may be. Maybe I oscillate back and forth between defining and then softening and then redefining yet again because I am learning some deeper truth about the form and emotion of the subject through that process. As I draw, I feel myself slowly soaking up the story that I am attempting to convey through the shapes and values that are the simple, but surprisingly powerful, tools I have chosen to communicate with. 
It is difficult describing in words my technical process since it is so gradual. I use a light touch and build up the pigment slowly, constantly softening with my finger, a viva paper towel or a paper stump as I go. The image comes into focus—then I blur it—then I bring parts into focus again—then I soften again—etc. I do this until I reach a point where I can't soften anymore and I have just the right balance of finish and sharp detail in the center of attention. I am still inspired by the challenge of creating drawings especially because I am still learning about that tension between what I should give the viewer and what I should hide from them. Very often in my work, what I decide to take out and simplify is even more important that the things I include since it is that editing that makes for a more powerful statement.
I also wanted to talk about my progression as an artist in the public eye. For years I hid behind Scott since he was confident enough to share his work. He was great at doing public demonstrations and clearly speaking his thoughts. I would be asked to participant in paint-outs or demonstrations and I would nervously laugh at the suggestion—somewhere deep down inside I didn't believe I was worthy of that spot light. 
The first major demonstration I did was at the PSOA two years ago with Michelle Dunaway. Her serenity and calm manner really helped me get up on that stage. I want the next chapter of my life as a teacher to be of service to artists who are facing that same fear of putting yourself out there, so they can reach the full potential of the artists they can and should be. 
Conferences like these are a true blessing, but can be overwhelming at times, especially for people like me who live somewhat isolated and who's main connection with other artists is through Facebook. I hope that more people will share their journeys so all of us we will become aware that we are not alone in our struggles as we enter our studios and that voice whispers you are not good enough into our heads. It was a great help for me to realize that every great artist has faced that doubt and overcome it over and over again.
I hope that more conferences, websites, books and movies will focus on how we can all lift each other up. Art is not a zero-sum competition and another's sucess can be the inspiration to finding your own as well. 
Too often we concentrate only on the technical aspects of art and forget what the real goal is. Here is a quote from a book called, The Way of Mastery, that puts my thoughts on art well. "How can I look lovingly upon what my physical eyes show me, so that I discern or extract the good, the holy, and the beautiful, and therefore, give them to myself." 
With my new sense of transparency I wanted to talk with other artists about their journey. I hope to participate in a larger effort of artists bravely talking about why they are artists and why it's important to connect. I don't think it matters how polished or not each individual speaks while conveying their inspiration and struggles, only that it is from the heart. My first attempt is a video with my good friend and amazing artist Michelle Dunaway. The simple video Scott and I made of Michelle and I discussing art and our inspiration is freely available through the below link on YouTube. If you feel inclined I hope you take a look.  



(Here are some drawings I'm sending to you, with some thought to go with each.)

first drawing

"Watching the Flock "  Charcoal on 400 series strathemore paper
I saw this young girl while on a trek in Tanzania, Africa. She was tending to her flock of goats. I love the movement of the fabric and her far-off gaze. I worked with a very soft charcoal which made it hard to keep the darks dark enough if you rubbed them at all. It is always a little bit of a game to find the right fit between the texture of the charcoal stick and the tooth of the paper. Since I tend to soften my edges a lot working with super soft willow charcoal sticks, it can be tricky.

second drawing

"Masaai Girl"  Charcoal on 400 series strathemore paper
This young girl is also from Tanaznia although she is wearing their traditional stiff necklace and tall white hat. She was part of a group of dancers that came to our campsite around dinner time to perform for us. The Masaai can walk up to 40 miles at a time with no thought—they must have heard trekkers where in the area and just showed up. I was so tired from the day's walk that I just sat on the ground while they danced around me. I kept this drawing very simple, leaving a lot of detail out—just focusing on the essential darks to hold the solidity of the figure together.

third Drawing

"Young Man Cruze" Pastel pencil on brown paper
I met this boy of 10 while Scott and I were in Taos, NM over the holiday season. We went there to experience the dancing and festivals at the Taos Pueblo. Cruze's father grew up in the Tao's Pueblo and his mother is a Chictaw Indian from Canada—he lives half the year up in Canada and the other half in Taos. His family is really into traditional Indian dancing and music. His older brother danced in a few of the ceremonies and Cruze hopes to participate in the future. He will take eighteen months off next year to stay with his grandmother in the Pueblo to immerse himself in the traditional Indian ways. They say he can not eat or watch anything from white culture for the entire time.

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